My name is Jimena Leyria, founder of Little Italy Kids. I am a mom of a three-year-old darling daughter, called Sophia. When she was born I learned more about baby clothing and fabrics than I had ever known. As soon as she was born I decided to alter her standard-size blankets so that they wouldn’t pop off; increase the regular size of her tiny sleeve holes so it wouldn’t become a battle to get her arms through her sleeves; add a few more inches to her pants waists to avoid that terrifying line across your baby´s belly where the elastic digs into her delicate skin, and the list could go on. I realized that choosing natural pima cotton for Little Italy Kids was the best option; I didn’t want her to wear uncomfy jeans, sweaters covered with those little ugly bobbles of fuzz or pills or any other type of clothing not suitable for her.
But the main thing I learned when my little Sophia came into the world, is the tremendous impact that we, as parents, leave on the lives of our child, and how, everything we do today can cause our children to have issues in later life. So, I decided to spread the word this Mother’s Day; to encourage all of you, lovely moms, to continue giving the best of you each and every day, and never stop learning about the most important job in the world: being a Mom.
Every time I had some spare time between my everyday tasks; working at Little Italy Kids, managing household chores and taking care of Sophia, I would invest it in reading about parenting. And I came across a lot of interesting articles about respectful parenting. What impacted me the most was a totally new concept to me called Invisible Violence.
And here comes the first thing I discovered: babies and children understand more than we can imagine or even think. They listen to every single word we say and they treasure and try to obey whatever we tell them as if it were the only truth. Kids need someone to look up to and learn from; we as parents are their gods/goddesses.
However, I can observe a huge mistake we are making as parents. We try to change some truths because we are in a hurry, we don’t have enough patience to explain the real thing, believe they don’t understand what’s going on, or simply because we are trying to protect them from the sometimes-awful reality.
The truth is that they may not be equipped with the required tools to process all the information we give to them, but they do feel and sense everything around them. So, if something bad happens, we must tell them the truth, no matter what that is. Otherwise they will stop believing in themselves and their path will be sealed with those white lies we´ve told them.
Another thing I´m sure, is that we need to be more patient; patience can also be exercised. Be patient and loving with your kids. Don’t talk to them as if they were not in the room or even next to you. I`ve heard so many mothers say things like “You are a whole mess, you make me so mad!” “You stop or I’ll spank you” “I can’t stand you anymore” “Oh you are so stupid!” “Why did you pee yourself again, are you dumb?” “Look what you´ve done, you are a disaster!” “I will kill you!” “You don’t deserve this”.
Have you ever said something like that to your kid? Do you know that by doing so you are affecting their future in a negative way? Could you ever imagine that saying those words was such big a deal? Always bear in mind that they believe everything we say! They trust in us like in no other! And they will believe every single word we tell them.
Labeling makes kids feel terrible about themselves. It looks like you are only describing what’s wrong about them or what makes you angry, but you´re actually doing so much more than that. What will happen in the next future? Your kid will continue to believe in those labels as he grows up. Wording is what constitutes consciousness.
Is it too tricky? Let´s put it this way: What you say (even the smallest things) are the words that will help constitute your baby’s personality.
Do you want to label your child with his own failures and negative aspects by expressing: “He is so demanding”, “You are so stupid”, “Stop being so lazy”? Or do you agree with me and think they need to receive another type of message for their future?
So please, help me spread loving and caring words for all the babies out there, help me help those mothers that may not be conscious of this, help me raise emotionally confident human beings.
We can change the world! We definitely can, and everything begins at home. I commit you all mothers who are reading this post to get to know about Invisible Violence and its negative impact, and I encourage you to start reading, hearing podcasts, YouTube conferences, liking related social media pages, or anything you think you might do to learn more about raising children. It’s not all about feeding them, bathing them, and taking them to school (I´ll talk to you later about this interesting topic I´ve also came across and I´m happy to be part of: Montessori schooling).
I’m really committed to this and I will use this online space to spread this message. I encourage you all to apply this at home. My intention is to help all of you by sending positive wording techniques in order to help prevent Invisible Violence. We are raising the new generation, we have lots of information in this era, let´s make the most of it! Let’s change the world one baby at a time! #saynotoinvisibleviolence #bommingbettermomseveryday #respectkids